Oxymorons for Morons

Oxymorons: you know, words and concepts that don't go together, are self-contradictory. George Carlin included them in his early comedy routines: "jumbo shrimp," "military intelligence," "hot water heater," -- "if it's already hot, why heat it? Don't you want a cold water heater?" I remember one coined by surrealist poet Andre Breton, "soluble fish."

Now we have a "Jewish Democratic State." Those who seriously support this idea have no sense of irony, or even common sense. How can you make sure a state stays Jewish? It can be done only by undemocratic (ie. unfair, rigged to favor only one group of people) means. You can crush, expel, eliminate, or marginalize everyone but Jews and give all the Jews a vote and equal civil rights, hoping that there will be always be a large majority of the chosen ones. Or, you can allow democracy for Jews only and even if there's an equal number or even a majority of non-Jews, just deprive them of equal rights and declare to the world "this is a Jewish democracy--only Jews get democracy, everyone else can drop dead (this is the real, desired policy of Zionism--their only problem is that the rest of the world is watching, so they have to bide their time).

This is the "demographic problem" that worries our intrepid Jewish democratic Zionists. Palestinians are such a problem! They think they have a right exist!

Israeli Jews like to refer to the Palestinians as "Arabs." The name Palestinians denotes that they are a nationality that has a homeland, which is the same place the "democratic Jewish state" is supposed to be. But the term "Arab" is one that doesn't indicate any particular nationality. An Arab can be Egyptian, Lebanese, even American by nationality.


One solution would be for Israel to declare that it is an Athenian Democracy. The birthplace of Western democracy in 5th century BC got to be hailed as a democracy even though most of it's populace were denied democratic rights. The democratic part of the population were in a minority: free, male, adult Greeks. Women and foreigners couldn't vote and slaves, who outnumbered free citizens, obviously couldn't vote.